Choice

Why is it that we should have to go through

the long, drawn out process of dying?

Why can’t we just go, when we’ve had our full quota,

Before we’re on others relying?

If we  have ailments that keep us holed up 

In a clinic or, hospital bed?

Why can’t we choose to simply “phase out” 

When our living’s like that of the dead?

I speak as an expert, I’ve been so confined,

Spending twelve hours each day in my chair

Examined each week by a nurse who will check

My bottom for pressure-points there.

Each morning I’m awakened by two who’ve been charged 

To tease me from my usual, deep sleep.

There’s no privacy left in my entirely timed lifeEmbarrassment? That’s gone! Should I weep?

There’s no point in feeling shy o my body,

 My daily ablutions I can’t shirk!

My body is theirs, to be used as they choose,

It’s material for them to have work..

I’m unable to walk so I never go out

I need a hoist that is used to change rooms.

The furthest I’m pushed in my oft used commode

Is from kitchen to bathroom. Life glooms!

Once washed, the girls leave, their task is complete,

I have to find things I can do.

I read and I write, and I sometimes play games,

But very little else can ensue.

There are many who have the same feelings as mine,

There are others who think I’m outrageous.

But my life is my own, I should have the right

To do as I  please, be courageous

I’m dreading the months, no, years I have left

To endure the great ordeal of living.

My dearest has gone, he was my whole life,

To join him would be my forgiving.

I hope you won’t be so greatly upset

By the subject I’ve raised in this verse

I’ll live ‘til I die, it will come when it comes

It’s not something we can ever rehearse.

I do not condone the taking of life,

My belief is that life is God- given.

Modern thinking should not be allowed to usurp 

The strength of “The Side”*, for us riven.

Would there be mass killings of any who’d choose 

In advance to be part of a quota.

 Perhaps there’d be queues of people, when asked, 

Say they didn’t care one iota

.There'll be comments galore from many who feel

They have a right to belittle my thinking.

,But there’s no cause for worry, I haven’t the guts 

And I’d much rather go with no inkling

But I feel there’s a place for the practice, now law,

When prognoses can offer no nope

 By comparison, my problems are nothing at all,

And I manage my life, so I’ll cope.

Val Bowden 

Iii8