top of page

The Slopey Bench

Attempt two....

The Slopey Bench


What is it with the ‘Slopey bench’?

The ones that make your buttocks clench.

They’re at the bus stops, stations too,

what is it you’re supposed to do? 

How can you rest your weary legs

on a bench that slopes the question begs? 

And if you do attempt to park your bum,

you’ll find yourself, soon overcome,

sliding down to where you started

making noises like you farted.

And wishing for a better seat,

That’s less dependent on your feet.


So whose great idea was it to tease,

our aching backs and creaky knees?

With a bench that slopes, so you can’t sit,

for fear of sliding off of it?

Or is it because –  ‘it just looks neat’,

to provide an angle in the seat?

Perhaps its purpose is ‘ergonomic’

in delivering some form of tonic.

A designer’s crazy, abstract idea,

to distract us from the simple fear,

the train or bus is running late 

and on a bench we all must wait!


28 views4 comments


Maybe the bench is designed to keep your legs moving in the likely event that you won’t get a seat on the train!


Thanks Ali. Sadly such benches are usually installed as a deterrent to the homeless. God forbid they might get a good nights sleep.

Replying to

I know, it's called 'hostile architecture', my eldest did a lot of research into it for his final project at uni, then invented a back pack with a built in seat and sleeping mat 😂 that you could use when travelling.


Oh, yes! I've parked my behind on many of those. The other day I was at the station when a mother kept shouting at her toddler to 'Sit DOWN!' Poor little fella's buttocks were at least a foot lower than the seat.

bottom of page