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Words I hear bandied around

Some of which are quite profound

And some words of late

I have to put straight

So here are more words loud and proud

I did not start the war in Ukraine

Or the Crimean war with Light Brigade Charge

And I could not have tried harder

To avoid the Armada

But still with the blame I get charged

And as for the City of Troy

That horse driven epic of Greece

It seems as I was a boy

I could of been there causing grief

Honest, I wasn't!

Nor did I guide Uncle Sam

To the death ridden jungles in 'Nam

Despite the rumours I didn't go near

The God forsaken place called Korea

I didn't behead French King Louis

Or shoot a civilians from a Bell Huey

So leave me alone, in my little home

Eating my bowl of beef stewy

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