This is another longish one but I think/ hope it’s worth the effort for those who stick with it.

The Gentleman’s club

(This is so wrong on so many levels)

There they all were in the Gentleman’s club,

all gathered together, the great and the good,

“have you seen that new waitress she’s just come on duty,

a dark-haired, 6 foot 2, Amazonian beauty,

now a little bit of that would definitely do you good,” said the nutritionist,

“I’m completely smitten, I’ve been bitten by the bug “ said the entomologist.

“She’s a sight for sore eyes “the ophthalmologist said,

“I can’t seem get her out of my head “ said the neurologist

“There is something about her that I can’t quite work out,” said the cryptologist ,

“I’ve never seen a woman like that hereabouts” said the ecologist,

“I feel strangely attracted to her” the magnetist said,

“you can tell she’s unique by the shape of her head “said the anthropologist.

“She behaves differently to the other girls,” said the psychologist,

“Well she could certainly come and shake up my world “said the seismologist,

“that’s something you could get your teeth into right there,” said

the orthodontist,

“I think I’m in love I feel like I’m walking on air” said a parachutist,

“She’s a very exotic creature with a sort of graceful feline quality”

said the zoologist,

“well, she’s definitely not ringing any bells for me” said the campanologist,

“I’m not sure if she exists outside of my mind “ said the solipsist,

“I wonder if she’d be interested in me, I’m a fungi “ said the mycologist

“that’s bloody typical of you ,always taking the pee” said the urologist

“tell me again what’s in it for me ,” said a narcissist

“We could be so happy if we were together” said the optimist,

“if I want to win her heart I’ll have to box clever,” said the pugilist ,

“If she broke your heart i’m afraid there’s no cure” said the cardiologist,

“Well, she’s caused a few eruptions in this place for sure” said the volcanologist

“I bet she could bend you out of shape and make your toes curl”, said the contortionist

“she certainly does look out of this world” said the astrologist,

“her womanly charms have gotten under my skin,” said the dermatologist.

“It’s not often I’m stuck for words but , I don’t know where to begin” said the linguist,

As they vied for her attention, trying to outdo one another,

a Psychoanalyst was asking about their relationships with their mother.

Then a bell rang at the back of the room, and all conversation immediately ceased,

“ Gentlemen, I see you have already met the worlds first

A.I. driven, 3D printed , non gender specific, domestic assistant”, said the robotics scientist….

and that should have been the end of the poem,but then this happened ….

“Fantastic, amazing work and to show my support I would like to pre-order half a dozen “ said the philanthropist

“So would I“ said the opportunistic , very rich, robosexual fantasist. (But for

very different reasons)

And so began mankind’s gradual descent into the sordid, immoral, techno swamp, of mechanically assisted self gratification, that would lead ultimately to our own demise. Alongside rapidly decreasing fertility rates in young men, the fact that you no longer needed to actually talk to another human to have a sexual relationship , caused the birth rate to collapse.

But thanks to the explosion of wokeism along the way, at least no one was offended or heaven forbid, miss gendered, because everyone , is entitled to an opinion , even a robot apparently, or should I say,

A.I. driven, autonomous being?…..

I don’t know, it’s only a matter of time before they’re in charge, and we are all deemed surplus to requirements anyway, is it just me or has the world gone mad!

The end (of us all….?). “Probably” ….said the disillusioned, struggling poet.

Mark Crump nov/dec 24©️