The Buffet Car Shuffle

The buffet on a cruise ship is a confusing but wondrous thing

You just grab a plate and you're off, round one, ding ding

There’s so many options and choices, so, chaos begins

You wander clockwise, then the fella in front, stops, pivots and spins

You're face to face, lock eyes and both move the opposite way

This tango finally ends with a laugh and a joke, and you jump back into the fray

The choices just mount, you’re in a meandering daze

No wonder your confused, you can have eggs five different ways

You run a busy office, you plan, you have vision

Now anchored to the floor, with and empty plate unable to make a decision

You’re going to be good, eat healthy, keep fit and no messing

You put some salad on a plate with some protein and a slightly naughty dressing

It's busy,  you grab a seat, but you've lost the wife

That's the trouble with buffet cars, sometimes it's just all trouble and strife

You look up from your meal, you’re on holiday and in a good mood

The engineering, plates piled so high, why do that with food

You've softened, you've given in, you've joined the masses

You deal with the weight gain at home, with the extra exercise classes

You’re a pro, you know,  all the meal times you can make

You don't go on excursions, why would you and miss the afternoon cake

You’re now lying in bed but you mind is awake and won't let you drift

There's a midnight buffet, so you haul your expanding carcass into the lift

The days blend into one, as you grab the next plate

You’ve only had four this sitting, it's not up for debate

Your exercise regime, gone, disappeared, you feel like a traitor

With a beer in your hand, you step into the elevator

Its end of the week,  you're craving sugar and your trousers might split

you're now facing planting the dessert trolley, Its ok I'm a Brit

Your shirt is so tight, and you know you’re a glutton

If it pings off, you could have someone's eye out with that button

So, the cruise has nearly ended as you wobble with your extra weight

Your no longer a foot passenger, you're officially freight

It's your last night and on your pillow is a chocolate truffle

Yes, ladies and gentlemen this is the official buffet car shuffle