number one
Baa baa sheep of colour,
Have you any wool,or other material (not tested on animals ) ,
Yes sir/madam, yes sir/madam,
I have three ethically sourced, reusable and recyclable bags for life full.
( i use the term sir/madam as a sign of respect, not deference).
However, I shall not be giving any to the so-called Master and Dame,
as they represent a historic portrayal of inequality, subjugation and tyranny,
that has no place in the modern world.
Instead, I shall be giving them to the person of short stature who
currently identifies as a boy but, has every right ( or left )
To change gender and/or sexual orientation in the future, should he/she/they so wish,
Who currently resides in a non-descript , responsibly insulated dwelling,
in a typical, average every day street.
Number two
Vertically challenged Ms Muffet,
Was sat on a tuffet,
Eating her vegan friendly beancurd tofu one day,
When along came a spider,
who sat down beside her
And frightened Ms Muffet away.
Ms Muffet would like to make it clear that the reason for this was not because the spider, as is often portrayed in illustrations and in the media, was from an ethnic minority background.
Ms Muffet also went on to say that no matter what colour or indeed size of the spider, her reactions would’ve been the same, due to the fact that she has an irrational fear of arachnids , who are often marginalised by society
Ms Muffet is currently undergoing a course of counselling to help with her irrational and borderline spiciest behaviour
Number three
Jack and Bill
Jack and Bill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Bill came tumbling after.
Up jumped June to tend their wounds,
And once they were both stable
June and Jill went up the hill,
For they were just as able.
When they got back, up jumped Jack,
His head still sore and spinning,
He said “we were lucky, indeed that in our time of need,
We should meet two such strong independent young women”
Mark Crump©️