Postural Instability

“You won’t die from Parkinson’s Disease. It doesn’t kill you.”

A consolation prize of sorts

As if somehow that will make it better.

But there is hesitation.

Just a nano-second

A pause

Just long enough to give cause to believe,

‘this is not the whole truth.’

Instincts take over

I needed clarification

So I fix them - with my best teacher stare -

Because they are unaware that I am practised in the art of extracting the truth

And an expert at speaking without words.

I can say a multitude of things just by moving my eyebrows,

“Stop that now!”

“Sit back down!”

“What were you thinking?”

“I wouldn’t if I were you.”

and…

“You have to tell me everything.”

They stammer slightly,

“Not as such,”

Then…There it is again. Hesitation.

I say nothing but use my, ‘elaborate’ eyebrows.

They breathe deeply,

“Parkinson’s symptoms do not directly cause death, but they do increase your risk for other factors that can lead to death. For instance, one of the symptoms of Parkinson’s is postural instability, which in turn, leads to an increased risk of falling. The postural instability by itself will not cause death but a fall could lead to a serious injury that might result in death.

They look rather pleased with themselves.

Until they realise we are discussing the manner in which I might die.

“I see,” I say.

But I don’t really.

I really don’t.

See.

Because, in this moment

I cannot not

see,

hear,

speak.

In this moment

I can only feel

That my eyebrows are numb.

And I walk out, careful to mind my postural stability.