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My Ben

He is an angry child

He knows no boundaries

He is boundless in a bounded world

In a world full of "No!"Full of not,

"@Not now!"”Never!”

”Watch it!"


He is a free spirit, a free spirit

an unruly child

a freak of nature

a gift from heaven

a kiss on my salty cheek.

My tears for him flow desperately!

uncertain, unstoppable!

ashamed!

and frightened!


I am a frightened mother

a mother full of doubts

Full of questions and worries

for the future and the lives of her children

am I good enough?

am I doing enough?

am I doing it right?

am I on the right track?


I am not sure of my role!

Do I lead the way or do I accompany?

Do I lead the way or protectively walk alongside?

Do I respect his boundaries more than my own?

Am I an anchor?

a compass?

an umbrella?

a sail - or all of them together?


We look into each other's eyes i

i see his fear behind all the boundless trust

i feel his need.

He reaches for my hand and squeezes it

Painfully tight

resolutely firm

needily gentle

lovingly soft!

you are my son!

i am your mother!

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