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More light hearted inspiration from my holiday in Ireland

Updated: Jul 3

(Try and read to the beat of an Irish jig )


Oh Fer fecks sake Paddy open the window …..


Oh paddy was cutting peat all day,

Working in the bog,

Standing on his feet all day,

In the rain and fog,

And as he walked the long way home,

He had but one desire ,

To take off his wet boots and socks,

And sit beside the fire,

Well

that’s exactly what he did

sat in his favourite chair,.

And pretty soon the smell of his feet,

Was polluting up the air,

The steam was rising from his socks,

The stink was getting higher,

But Paddy didn’t care a bit,

Sat beside his fire.

Then

in the room walks paddy’s wife,

To see if he was well,

The smell it goes right up her nose,

And stings her eyes as well,

And as she backs up out of the door,

his lovely wife did yell,

“ oh fer fecks sakes Paddy open the window.


Paddy then says to his wife,

I’m hungry as can be,

I’ve got a mighty appetite,

So tell me what’s for tea,

His wife she says we’ll Paddy my boy,

You must be having a laugh,

Cause you’ll be having nothing to eat,

until you’ve had a bath

So

off he goes and runs a bath,

to scrub himself, all clean ,

He washed his hair, and scrubbed his feet,

And everything in between,

the water it was piping hot ,

and filled the room with steam

But Paddy didn’t care cause

All he wanted was his tea

Well

Into the kitchen he did go

And sat himself right down,

But he never closed the bathroom door ,

And the steam spread all around,

His wife she couldn’t see the table,

To put his dinner down, and cried,

Fer fecks sake Paddy open the window.


When Paddy finally finished his tea,

He said Mary, that was grand,

That was a meal to satisfy,

any man in the land,

And so to show my gratitude

for all that lovely grub

I’ll be taking you out for a drink

down to O’Mally’s pub

Well

The band was playing in the pub,

and the craic was mighty fine,

Paddy was drinking pints of stout

and Mary was on the wine,

When paddy stomach starts to rumble,

Which can only mean one thing,

Paddy was about to get,

A serious case of the wind.

Well

Though he tried to hold it in

He could no longer wait,

And Paddy let go a mighty fart ,

That made the barmaid faint ,

All the people in pub

together they did yell?

Oh fer fecks sake Paddy open the window..,


Mark Crump June 24©️

30 views3 comments

3 Comments


Funny stuff, Cheered me up

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John Wood
John Wood
Jul 02

Entertaining and well constructed. Good job!

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Potty humor always cracks me up. Couldn't get through the entire poem without stopping to laugh. Please post an oral reading in an Irish jig.

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