Mince Pies as big as eyes

Mince pies big as eyes

Mum’s getting stressed

The twins won’t get dressed

Hot mince pies,

Cold turkey thighs

‘a charming little white’

See Alfie’s already tight

Christmas cake stuffed with fruit and brandy

Hang on gran’s looking randy

Mum cackles mouth full of bacon wrapped fig

Have you ever seen a carrot that big

Cousin Fanny gives her danny a look

Hides his face in a book

Auntie take the weight off your feet

Come on you lout, you’ve nicked her seat

Who wants more of the meat ?

When I was a lad ..

Eat more veg dad

Oh do leave it out

OK just one sprout

I think I’ve lost a tooth

Any one seen Ruth

She’s round at Louises

Biscuit and cheeses,

Nah im fit to burst,

Mind you still got a thirst

King’s on the telly

Look at my belly

Don’t watch that

He’s a bit of a prat

We always saw the queen

Nan don’t make a scene

What about a port

Rather have a stout

Don’t blame me if you get gout