Dressing Down

The biggest challenge of the day

Is getting dressed - once child's play.

I don't know which garment's worse

If you ask me each one is cursed.

Pants are where the nightmare starts

And my sanity soon departs

Feeble hands clutch tight elastic

A miracle now would be fantastic!

Nothing gets me more depressed

Than wrestling with my wretched vest

And when I finally get it on

I can feel I've got it wrong

The whole thing now is front to back

And I'm at great risk of heart attack!

The entire procedure takes an age

And soon I start to rant and rage

I simply want to tuck it in!

But it seems I cannot win

My despair is quite profound

I don't have time to mess around.

Socks and shoes, need I say more?

You and I both know the score.

I try to bend down to my feet

But sense the onset of defeat.

The time has come to make a stand -

I hope that you will understand.

I don't intend to cause a sensation...

But I've joined the Naturist Foundation!

And as everybody knows -

Members there dispense with clothes.

Nudity is not a sin

I know that I will fit right in.