Brace yourself - it’s that time of year! We’re supposed to feel good AND Full of cheer. But the weathers dreich, the sky is grey And time is ticking fast away… So we must…catch the bus into town, Smile at the driver, despite the frown, Watch the houses zipping past Festooned with lights that never last… Soon one goes out and then the rest - It’s our nerves they’re designed to test - Now it’s half a Santa, one reindeer And a Christmas fairy - with manic sneer! All lit up upon a roof of Christmas spirit There’s the proof. The traffics bad, the bus is busy Full of folk, in a tizzy. Here’s our stop. Ring the bell - We’ll soon arrive in shopping hell! Quick grab your bags. Off we jump. Thank the driver - still in a grump. Check the list? The shops are heaving - But until it’s done, we’re not leaving! A box of chocs for Aunty Mary But nothing plain, she’s quite contrary, Socks for dad and Uncle Dick, But not too thin and not too thick, A gift for work - it’s Secret Santa - But what to I buy stuffy Miranda? FIVE QUID – on someone I don’t like! Secret Santa, take a hike.
Then - don’t forget the other things Like wrapping paper, tape and string. The list is long – it’ll take a while Just grin and bare it, with a smile And join the crowd of frenzied shoppers The elbow diggers and queue hoppers, The ‘Not-So-Merry Christmas’ throng - That’s of all of us who got it wrong - Left our buying to the last minute And stretched our credit to the limit.