Getting to know residents at an independent senior retirement community requires thought and tact. Some residents are reserve while others monopolize the rest of the conversation. Not asking me one question about my backstory.
“What’s your backstory?” I ask.
Many residents vividly remember the past.
For some it’s a difficult task.
For others their memories won’t last.
A few are on a loop repeating themselves often.
Their backstories are links to the present, but softened.
Sometimes I feel like they are reciting their obituaries.
I never fact-check any of their stories.
Do I want to know their detailed histories?
Or share mine before I’m dust?
When conversations lag, stories often turn to medical mysteries.
Talk of joint replacements isn’t too gross to discuss.
We spent lots of time complaining about our work.
Most obits dedicate one line to 30-years of a career for the perks.
They slyly slip in their love of their grandchildren or pets.
Or how proud they are of their children’s accomplishments.
Do our grown children really know what we did on our jobs?
If it wasn’t on the college entrance exam, they didn’t know it.
The next icebreaker to play is “Who goes with which backstory?”
I doubt that I could match any one with his/her backstory or personal history.
After a year of hearing about one story a day, they mostly blend into one.
Next year, I won’t ask people about their backstories. I’m done. They have won.
This made me think. As we get older do we rewrite our own stories? Our own obituary? And does anybody care! Curiosity is good exercise though. I think you should keep asking
So so very true! Nice one Alice - made me smile