A little bit of light relief in these turbulent times….

Bobby and the hat.

Bobby Mcthistle had a new whistle,

and blew it as hard as could be,

when he heard that loud blast, he took off really fast,

to round up all the sheep in the field he could see.

You see Bobby Mcthistle was a very clever dog,

who was completely self taught,

he learned to herd sheep, by watching YouTube videos,

and it soon became his favourite sport .

He herded the sheep into another field,

and closed the gate behind himself,

then he ran home, and let himself in through the back door,

and took a tin of chum down off the shelf.

After his grub, he went down the pub,

he’d had a hard day herding sheep,

“Hello Bobby how are you doing” said the locals,

“Ruff,” said Bobby and sat on a bench by the fire and fell asleep .

Now, a stranger in town, needed somewhere to sit down,

to take the weight off and sup his pint,

he spied a seat on the bench next to Bobby,

and said “I’ll just squeeze in there if that’s alright?”

He took off his hat and dropped it on the bench,

this woke Bobby up with a start,

he immediately grabbed the hat in his teeth,

and chewed it up and tore it apart.

“ What the bloody hell do you think you doing?” said the stranger,”

his hat torn to shreds , a disaster,

“Whose dog is this”? he said looking round the pub,

“ he be mine” said a man , “but he’s very much his own master.”

“Well he’s just ruined my hat “said the stranger

“ well you shouldn’t have left it there, simple as that“ came the reply,

“everyone knows Bobby don’t like hats,

never has done, don’t ask me why “

“Well, what are you going to do about it” said the stranger,

“Nothing “ said Bobby’s owner, “you shouldn’t have left it there,

like I said everyone knows Bobby don’t like hats,

and that’s his favourite chair “

“ what do you mean “said the stranger, getting frustrated,

look, I only came in for a pint of old moult,

I put my hat down and your dog ripped it to bits,

now you’re saying it’s all my own fault

“I don’t believe this “said the stranger,

“and I don’t like your attitude, “ he moaned,

and Bobby’s owner said “listen mate, …it’s not my attitude…….

it’s your at…..ti ….. tude ”

and everybody groaned.

Mark Crump may25©️