A Guinness Record?

Remember old Auden

And stop all the clocks.

Put down what you're doing

Then run amok.

For it took me ten minutes

To put on one sock!

You find the reason

I can't decide.

It's the whole truth, though.

Don't tell me I lied.

Perhaps put the blame on

My defective Hose.

Don't say it's the fault of

Obstreperous Toes...